It’s been at least three months since I had a cup of coffee. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love coffee. Problem was I could feel the habit sinking its teeth into me and whenever that happens with anything, I stop. On stopping, I was hit with a two day headache. I was lethargic and miserable for two weeks. Then the benefits arrived. Rather than charging into the headlong torrent of the morning, my days slowly took form over their first hours, like a photo emerging in a chemical bath. Or a dimmer switch where I gradually bloomed into full consciousness after a dreamless sleep. Writing was the toughest part. The act of creation was always tied to a surge of excitement, often brought on by the first day’s blast of caffeine. I had to find some other state of being that wasn’t jittery excitement. So I got writing and waited for something to happen. I’m still waiting.

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